Hello, my name is Earl Simmons and I am a professional hip-hop artist. I am more commonly known as DMX. I guess it’s funny that I would use a pseudo name for my rap career seeing as I already do a lot of hiding. I hide from the press. I hide from my family. And I hide from myself. You will often hear me in interviews talk about how I know I have problems or how I know I am a sinner, but you see, I admit that I have problems so I can avoid actually dealing with them.
It’s much easier to make a big old blanket statement such as “I am a sinner” than it is to analyze why it is that I do the things that I do or to think about how those things might have harmed the people I love. When someone confronts me about something hurtful I’ve done, it’s way easier to just say that I’m “troubled” in hopes that the other person will be satisfied and then change the subject to motorcycles or dogs.
There’s a massive difference between signaling that I’m a self-reflective person and actually being one. I can fool people into thinking I’ve done some soul searching much easier than I can actually search my own soul. Maybe I’m afraid. But honestly, if I’m afraid of what I might find, then maybe I’ve already found it.
I mean, everyone has demons. And I honestly can see that I’m no exception to this. But it’s one thing to admit that I have demons. It’s another thing to stop. drop. shut ‘em down and open up shop on said demons.
I guess I can’t really underestimate how the impoverished circumstances that I grew up in might have contributed to who I’ve become, but at some point I have to look in the mirror and decide what type of person I really want to be going forward. In the meantime